Airing Dirty Laundry

for all the world wide web to see

210 April 11, 2008

Filed under: hungryhungryhippo,life lessons — airingdirtylaundry @ 3:50 pm

Remember boot camp?  Did you think I gave it up by now?  Hell, no!  I love it!  I go twice a week–Monday nights and Saturday mornings.  I have missed some classes here and there for various reasons, but lately I’ve been there pretty regularly. 

I’ve known Andi since college, and maybe it’s the comfort level I have with her and the others that take the class too (one is also a friend from college and one is a friend from our neighborhood) that keep me interested in going.  It’s fun–we gossip, talk about hairstyles and clothes, bitch about whatever’s bothering us–but we also get a good workout.  It’s like therapy with some added health benefits.

I’m ready to take it one step further.  Tuesday starts my twice-weekly personal training sessions with Andi.  So in addition to my 45-60 minutes of cardio in the morning and boot camp twice a week, I’ll have 2 hours of intense one-on-one training.  Also, I’ve been concentrating on my nutrition and tracking what I eat each day on FitDay so that I have an accurate picture of what’s going into my body.

I’m tired of being fat.  I’m tired of continually buying bigger clothes.  I’m tired of putting something on that I fit into just a few months ago and having it not even come close to fitting now.  I’m tired of feeling self-conscious.  I’m tired of being the “big girl”.

I’ve been reading a fertility book that I borrowed from a friend, and there was just a passing mention that some women who are obese have more trouble conceiving, more trouble during pregnancy, more trouble during childbirth, and are slow to bounce back afterwards.  All of this, combined with concerns for my health in general, are forcing me to make some big changes.  I have to.

I still struggle with the word “obese”, since what comes to mind is 400+ lbs, but I think I need to finally recognize that I am technically an obese person.  Wow, is that depressing.

I am 5’6″ tall and 210 lbs.  Did I just type that?  On my blog?  For the whole freakin’ world to see?  Deep breath.  In. Out. In. Out.

I am a size 16 (although sometimes a 14!).  I recently bought clothes at Lane Bryant, a store I had never set foot in previously.  Because I always thought it was for fat people.  Hello, now I am one of those fat people.

It hurts to reveal my weight.  I’m ashamed of it.  But if I have to be shamed into dropping some of it, then so be it.

I had created a FitDay account in the past, but never really used it.  When I logged in earlier this week to start tracking my nutrition, I saw that my weight was listed as 178.  I went back in time and found that 178 was my weight when I originally created my account–2 1/2 years ago.  I’m now 32 lbs heavier (for those of you that are too lazy to do the math).  Even if I could get back to 178 , it would be a drastic improvement.  According to my internet research, 150 would be my ideal weight.  Sixty pounds.  SIXTY. 

WHAT have I done to my body over the years?  Take-out, fast food, mounds and mounds of pasta, cookies, chocolate, alcohol.  What took me minutes to eat is going to take me hours to take off.  It’s going to be quite a battle–that I assure you.

I sent Mike an email this morning once Andi and I worked out the timing for my personal training sessions.  I told him how excited I am to do this, but my only concern is that I’m going to have to be really organized in planning meals ahead of time.  I get up at 4:45-5:00 each morning to get on the elliptical or the treadmill, then eat breakfast and pack my lunch, jump in the shower, get ready for work, play “beat the clock” on my way there, get home at 5:30-5:45 (if I don’t have any errands to run), and THEN figure out what we’re having for dinner.  With boot camp on Mondays, dinner doesn’t happen until 7:30-7:45, and only if Mike called in an order to the pizza place down the street while I was gone.  Now with Tuesdays and Thursdays added in to the mix, it’s even more important that I figure out what we’re having for dinner in advance.  Thank goodness summer is coming and we can use the grill a lot for quick-but-healthy meals–I’m sure that will help.

Mike’s response to my email was that he’s here to support me in any way and I just need to let him know what help I need.  THAT right there is my motivation.  His support means the world to me.


One Response to “210”

  1. […] 16, 2008 in Uncategorized Just an update on my weight issue, for all of you who care.  I’ve lost 4 pounds since Friday.  I know I’ll drop a lot […]

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