Airing Dirty Laundry

for all the world wide web to see

A new lifestyle October 29, 2007

Filed under: hungryhungryhippo — airingdirtylaundry @ 11:00 am

LaLo speaks the truth

My nephew LaLo pulled on my PJ shirt this weekend and told me I have a big belly.  This is coming from the mouth  of a 2 1/2 year old, so I didn’t break down and cry like I would have if someone older (you know, like 3 or 4) would have said the same thing.

But the truth hurts.

I’ve always been somewhat of a pear shape, but in the past year, I’ve added an apple to the middle of the pear and the upper section of the pear has gotten bigger.  Even the very top of the pear–my head–has gained an extra chin or two. Or three.

I’ve been ignoring it for the most part.  Sure, when I would step on the scale and see that I was only 5 pounds away from THAT NUMBER THAT I WILL NEVER REACH BECAUSE ONLY FAT PEOPLE WEIGH THAT MUCH, I would think “Wow, I need to get off my ass (literally) and do something about that.”

That was 2 months ago.  I haven’t dared to step on the scale since.  I know I’ve surpassed THAT NUMBER, because I can feel it.  I get winded when I run up a flight of stairs (if you can call that running), I’m tired all of the time, and my clothes don’t fit very well or at all. 

Something that OMSH wrote 6 weeks ago really affected me.  She called me selfish and it hurt.  She didn’t call me selfish personally because she doesn’t know me, but if she wants to, that would be probably help.  The more people that I have smacking my hand as I reach for a cookie, the better.  Because I’m thinking “one more won’t hurt.”  But eventually one more WILL hurt.  

I don’t have a medical condition that’s causing me to be overweight (and I’m still using the word “overweight” because the word “obese” scares me).  I have nothing to blame, and no one to blame except for myself.  I am chosing myself over everything and everyone else.

So today’s the day.  I’m trying it again.  Except that I didn’t get up when my alarm went off at 4:50 this morning and get my fat butt on the treadmill before getting ready for work.  Oh, and I didn’t get on the scale this morning, either. Baby steps, right?  I can do this–I’ve done it before.  My problem is that I STOP doing it when I get to a weight/size that I feel more comfortable with.  I don’t make a lifestyle change, I just go on a diet.  And then I go off.  And then I get disgusted and go back on.

So this time I need to make it a way of life.  I don’t have the guts to post my weight on my blog like OMSH did, but I’m thinking that if I’m posting updates on here about my progress, at least I’ll have some incentive to continue on the right track.

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5 Responses to “A new lifestyle”

  1. karen Says:

    Good for you and good luck to you. Luckily for me, I’ve never really had struggles with my weight, but after a couple of pregnancies where I got totally huge-mongous, I assure you it felt like I would never lose it. But I did, and exercise was a big component of it.

    But at least you’re thinking about it, starting to make a conscious effort. You’ve got to start somewhere, you know? And ultimately it is for your health … you’ve got to do it for yourself before anyone else.

  2. Big hugs coming your way. Two weeks ago my husband and I started counting out Weight Watcher points again. We did this as a lifestyle change back when NHL was 8 months or so. We were very successful, but got lazy in our ways and stopped making veggies the main meal. So far I have lost 4 pounds, so it’s the right direction.

    Best wishes to you and kudos for doing the treadmill – wish I had one of those.

  3. citystreams Says:

    You can do it! This is a great time to start. You have two months to practice and then you can make a NewYear’s resolution that you’ll be able to stick to. That’s how I switched to diet sodas and reduced portion sizes. You can do it! I believe in you :o)

  4. Angella Says:

    Oh, Shawna.

    Weight is such a struggle.

    I pray that you find what works and that you get to a place where you are HEALTHY and comfortable in your own skin.

    🙂

  5. airingdirtylaundry Says:

    Thanks for all of the support! So far, so good . . .you know . . .since it’s only been 2 days. But I’m off on the right foot. And Mike has decided that he needs to lose some weight too, so it makes it easier that we’re doing this together.


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