Airing Dirty Laundry

for all the world wide web to see

Let’s dust off this here blog July 8, 2010

Filed under: Uncategorized — airingdirtylaundry @ 9:28 pm

Where have I been, you ask?

All over the place, except for right here on my blog. This is my ninth post of the year so far. Shameful, isn’t it? With all of the running around, working, cleaning, laundry, etc. that goes on in life, I’ve found that I’m having trouble carving out the little bit of time it takes to write about said life. Too busy living it, I guess.

So I’m not going to promise to do better, because I doubt that I will. In the midst of working 50-55 hours a week, taking care of Maggie and the house (and Mike), running around on the weekends, etc, time is so limited, and blogging will always take a back seat. Which is a shame, since I wanted to use this blog (in part) to record all of the precious moments of Maggie’s life, all of the big milestones, plus all of the little things. Well, folks, it’s obviously not happening!

Speaking of Maggie, she’s 10 months old today. Amazing. It’s getting harder and harder to leave her in the morning. It used to be that she’d get up early, eat, and then fall asleep on the couch with Mike for awhile. Now she’s playing and crawling around when I leave for work in the morning, and I just want to scoop her up and take her with me.

Everyone we’re around comments on what a happy, pleasant baby she is. Something I totally take for granted. You mean all babies don’t always wake up happy?  Even when they’re startled awake? That they don’t melt down when they spend the afternoon of the Fourth of July without a nap? They don’t all love splashing in the pool?

She makes me laugh every day. When I try to get her to say “mama”, she gently whispers it. And then yells “dada” at the top of her lungs. When she gives her Ernie doll her pacifier. When she dances whenever she hears music –any music—a toy, a commercial, the radio. When I put a bunch of toys in a bucket and she gets mad and dumps them all out.

I need those laughs. I look forward to those laughs. I’m still struggling with the post-partum depression (or maybe just regular ol’ run-of-the-mill depression?) that crippled me earlier this year. I made the decision to take myself off of my meds, pull myself out of therapy, and do it my own way. Figure out how to get better on my own. About ten days after I stopped the anti-depressants, I felt better. More aware. More in control. Less fuzzy. Less numb. I knew I had made the right choice. So I just take each day as it comes, and do what I have to do to get by. I’m slowly learning how to get rid of the overwhelmedness (not a word, I know) that was weighing on me. I’m slowly learning to concentrate on the smaller tasks that make up the big picture instead of looking at the big picture and not having any idea of how to get where I need to be from where I am. And it’s working. Not 100%. Not foolproof. But hopefully the little baby steps that I’m taking will lead me in the right direction.

But enough about that.

We have a couple of busy months coming up . . .my brother’s wedding next weekend, a big work event that I’ve been planning for months, my father-in-law’s 60th birthday party, a trip to NJ to see Mike’s cousins, and Maggie’s first birthday bash. It will all go by quickly, I know.  Maybe I’ll get a chance to blog about it.  Maybe not.  We’ll see.

Here’s some pictures to tide you over until next time . . .

 

Catching up . . .in pictures May 15, 2010

Filed under: baby!,daily grind,family,Uncategorized — airingdirtylaundry @ 9:25 pm

So, even though it’s been awhile (since Easter!), I really don’t have the gumption to string sentences together and make a coherent post right now.  Mike, Maggie, and I had a full day cleaning the house, taking a long walk, going for a run (OK, Mike and Maggie didn’t participate in that one and HOLY CRAP CAN YOU BELEIVE I STARTED RUNNING AGAIN?), and all of the other usual weekend-y type stuff.

Oh, and I cooked dinner today.  That in and of itself is newsworthy.  WITH MORE THAN 3 INGREDIENTS.  WITHOUT A RECIPE.  (I have friends in Seattle and Phoenix who just fell off their chairs when they read that).  I made pasta with zucchini, crab meat, spinach, and mozzarella, with a little bit of garlic, drizzled in olive oil, and topped with almond slivers.  It kicked ass, if I may say so myself.

Maggie is . . . mind-blowing.  It seems like every day she’s learning something new.  Some of her favorite things are waving, clapping, doing “so big”, peek-a-boo, “gimme five”, and dancing.  She LOVES to dance.  And, if I may say so, I think she inherited her dancing skills from me.  (Poor girl!)

Anyhow, here’s some pictures to tide you over until I come up with a real post.

 

Happy Easter! April 4, 2010

Filed under: holidaze — airingdirtylaundry @ 10:21 am

 

Rolling Over March 14, 2010

Filed under: baby! — airingdirtylaundry @ 10:02 am

I’ve been meaning to download all of the videos from our camera, and finally got around to it today.  It was so fun to go back in time a few months and hear how different Maggie sounded, and to see how small she was.

She’s now 6 months old, rolls over like a champ, can sit unassisted for a few minutes at a time (until she gets distracted by a toy or something), and continues to grow and change every day.

We went to her well baby checkup on Monday and she’s now 19 lbs 15 oz (good thing our car seat goes up to 32 lbs or we’d be buying a new one already) and 27 3/4″ long.  She’s in the 99th percentile for both height and weight, just a few ounces and an inch or so from being off the charts.  (We call her our little overachiever!)

She loves veggies and fruit, and devours both rice cereal and oatmeal.  So far she’s tried grean beans, peas, squash, sweet potatoes, pears, peaches, and bananas.  She seems to like them all, although some took 2 or 3 tries before she realized they weren’t all that bad.  We haven’t tried prunes, yet . . .we’re saving those for a “special occasion”.

Here’s a video from the day Maggie rolled over for the first time.  JLo was kind enough to video it for us.  Mike called me at work to tell me that she had rolled over, and I was so excited the rest of the day, counting the hours until I could get home and see it for myself!

Maggie rolling over

 

Top O’ The Mornin’ To Ya! March 7, 2010

Filed under: baby!,holidaze,special occasions — airingdirtylaundry @ 4:39 pm

 

The Past Month February 28, 2010

Filed under: baby!,family,friends — airingdirtylaundry @ 1:43 pm

One of these days maybe I’ll write a post on the postpartum depression thing, but just to sum things up, I’m getting the help I need.  While I was once vehemently against the whole idea of drugs or seeing a professional to talk about anything, I’m now taking anti-depressants and have both a therapist and a psychiatrist.  And I’m OK with that. 

But for now, here’s a photo recap of what our past month has been like:

WATCHING PITT BASKETBALL

BLIZZARD! (And record snowfall for the month of February–close to 50 inches when we normally get about 8 inches)

FIVE MONTHS OLD!

FIRST VALENTINE’S DAY!

VISITS FROM FRIENDS

SIPPY CUPS

(and crazy mustaches)

SQUASH!

AND TUMMY TIME

 

Little Miss Independent January 24, 2010

Filed under: baby! — airingdirtylaundry @ 3:58 pm

 

The post without a title January 21, 2010

Filed under: me being a whiney brat,random ramblings,secrets — airingdirtylaundry @ 11:00 am

I’m just going to start typing and see where this post ends up.

But just a little forewarning, it’s not going to be pretty.

For weeks now, I’ve been feeling like there’s something . . .wrong. I’m not sure that I can do it justice by trying to explain it. I just feel . . .unhappy. And I don’t know why.

I have a wonderful husband, a beautiful child, and a (at least I hope) secure job. What do I really have to complain about? Why do I feel this way?

It’s almost like I’m going through the motions. I get up at 5:00, spend an hour on the treadmill or elliptical, shower, get Maggie up and dressed, get ready for work, eat breakfast, and head out the door. After work, I come home, throw a load of laundry in, play with Maggie for 45 minutes or so, put her to bed, then Mike and I make dinner, clean up, wash that day’s bottles and make them for the next day, pack my lunch, and then either fold laundry or pay bills or clean or whatever until I collapse into bed. Just to get up and do it all over again the next day. And the next day.

As regimented as I am (or try to be) about certain things, maybe I’m struggling with such a predictable routine. Maybe this is too much of a routine. All the spontaneity is gone. Mike and I can’t go out to dinner during the week because Maggie goes to bed so early and there’s not enough time (and we don’t DARE keep her up later than she wants to be—we’ve made that mistake before). And I really don’t even want to go out to dinner, because what fun is it to sit in a restaurant when I could be rolling around on the floor with Maggie at home? There are times when I run errands after work, but then I feel guilty because that cuts into the little amount of time I have with Maggie. So I feel like I’m never home, but yet I feel housebound at the same time. It used to be on the drive home from work, I’d wonder what we were going to do that night. Now, I don’t have to wonder. I know. Down to the minute.

I find myself crying at the drop of a hat, over stupid things. Like, REALLY stupid things. Things that I’m too embarrassed to write about. I struggled a little with crying jags after Maggie was born—the hormonal kind. But these are different. Where I was once more likely to laugh at something, now I’m more likely to be upset at it. It’s like all of the humor has been leeched out of me. I’m just getting through each day and onto the next.

Maybe this will all change once spring comes. Already there’s a little daylight left when I leave work each day, and I know it’s just a matter of time before the sun will be shining brightly and the flowers will be in bloom. Maybe that’s all it will take.

But in the meantime, do I just continue on through the next month. Two? What if I don’t feel better once the weather’s a little nicer?

I’ve also been struggling with panic attacks, or at least what I think are panic attacks. I all of a sudden feel helpless and claustrophobic. Like the walls are closing in on me but I’m too frozen to escape. Trapped. I break out into a cold sweat, get dizzy, and then a minute or two later, I’m fine. And every time I have one, I think it’s the last one. That they’ll go away. And then I have another one.

So I don’t know where I’m going with this. I’m not asking for help, or advice, or anything. I’m just . . .venting I guess. And hoping I come back to read this in a few weeks or a month and laugh about how silly I was.

And I’m not going to go back and re-read this now. I’m just going to hit “publish”.

 

Catching up (in a long long post) January 13, 2010

Filed under: baby!,family,holidaze,special occasions,travel — airingdirtylaundry @ 10:04 pm

So, here we are almost halfway through January, and I have yet to post ANYTHING this year.

Good thing my New Year’s resolution wasn’t to blog more, because obviously that would be a failure.  I’d have more success losing weight.

OK, maybe not.

Here’s a picture-filled recap of the last few weeks.

After we opened Maggie’s presents on Christmas morning, we kept an anxious eye on the weather.  We were supposed to be driving back to The Sticks to see my family but there was a big ice storm coming through PA and we didn’t want to get caught in it.  If it would have been just me and Mike, we probably wouldn’t have thought twice about it, hopped in the car, and gone on our merry way.  But with Maggie on board, I imagined brutal car accidents, or being stranded for days on end halfway between my house and The Sticks.  With that in mind, I packed the car full of bottled water, Maggie’s snowsuit, a million blankets, a bag containing way more formula and diapers than we could possibly need, and extra layers of clothes for Mike and I, along with gloves and hats and scarves.

After consulting NOAA, we decided we had a short window of opportunity, so we piled into the car and were on our way.  There was just a light drizzle at our house, but as we climbed into the mountains, that drizzle became a snowy icy mix.  Ugh.  I’m a real control freak about driving and like to always be the one in control, but I “allowed” Mike to drive (it was Christmas, after all, so I wanted to avoid a fight) and sat in the back seat with Maggie.  I had a 4 hour panic attack the whole way there, clutching onto Maggie’s car seat, yelling “suggestions” to Mike on how to handle the bad conditions (he loved that), and refusing to blink because I might miss seeing the car in front of us careening out of control.

We made it there safe and sound, and thankfully the weather in The Sticks was manageable and much less treacherous.  We spent the long weekend running around, back and forth from my grandparent’s house to my Dad’s house, into town to get fitted for my dress for my brother’s wedding this summer, and visiting friends. 

Maggie with her great-grandfather

Too. Much. Christmas.

listening to Great-Grandma

playing on the bed

with Uncle Dave and Aunt Abby

snuggling

Maggie was an absolute dream.  She had her fussy moments, but she adapted well to being passed around, sleeping in a strange room, and being in and out of the car more times than we could count.  She was worn out by the time we got in the car to come home on Sunday, and slept the entire ride.  The weather had cleared up by then, so we had an uneventful trip home.

Mike had off work the week between Christmas and New Year’s.  I, however, had to work Monday through Thursday.  So on Monday morning, I was off to work while Mike and Maggie hung out all day.  After I got home we did a quick cleanup of the house and threw some laundry in . . . .

 . . . .because on Tuesday, Mike’s brother, his wife, and our niece and nephew arrived to stay with us for the week!

with Uncle Rob

 

This was the first time they got to meet Maggie and it was so cute to see the kids with her. 

 

just another gourmet meal at our house

you're really trusting this little boy to hold me?

um, hello? can ANYONE help me out a little here?

getting the hang of the whole "opening presents" thing

 

 

Forrest checks out the fireworks on New Year's Eve

The rest of Mike’s family came over on New Year’s Day for dinner and to exchange Christmas gifts. 

 

At one point, both Maggie and I were really tired, so we had some quiet time together on the couch.

But then the next day Mike’s brother’s family had to head home, so we said our goodbyes.  Our nephew had picked up on Mike and I calling Maggie “Magpie”, and when he said goodbye to her before heading for home, he gently touched her arm and said “Goodbye Maggiepie.”  It was so sweet!  I just wished we lived closer to them so that we could see them more often.

You would think all of the chaos would end there, but it didn’t.  Next up was Maggie’s baptism, which was during the 5:00 Mass last Saturday.  I had a million errands to run during the week leading up to the baptism, but we got snow almost every day around 5:00PM and then overnight, so my 8 mile commute to and from work sometimes turned into an hour (one way) and I gave up on the errands and concentrated on making it home to spend what little time I could with Maggie before bedtime.  So on the morning of her baptism day, I left the house around 8:30 and didn’t make it back until around noon.  My brother and his fiancée had made it there in the meantime, and my Dad and his fiancée arrived a little while later.

We left the house around 4:30 and met Mike’s family at the church.  I was a little nervous about Maggie making it through the entire Mass.   I envisioned a major uncontrollable meltdown, the kind where nothing would calm her.  Our church is HUGE and the Saturday evening Mass is packed. Any other time, I could just leave with her, but since she was the center of attention (and we were in the front row), I knew it wouldn’t be that easy.  I didn’t need to worry. She squawked a few times during Mass, but no one minded and the priest even made a comment about how excited she was.  She was an absolute angel during the actual baptism.  She was shocked by the cold, and jerked her hands up over her head all three times, but didn’t cry.  It was a beautiful baptism, and the congratulations from the congregation afterwards were overwhelming. 

 

my brother, Maggie's Godfather

 

Afterwards, we all went back to our house for dinner.  It’s rare that my family and Mike’s are all in the same room together.  In fact, I can’t even think of a time when it was just all of us.  They’re all at the benefit we have each year, but being in a crowded bar isn’t the same.  It was so nice for all of us to just hang out and relax.

 

of course Forrest joined in the festivities

On Monday, I took a half day of vacation  to Maggie’s 4 month appointment. She now weighs 16 lbs 10oz; still in the 95th percentile, which is where she was at birth.  She’s 26 1/2 inches long.  The problem with her soft spot closing early seems to no longer be a problem, and everything else checked out OK.  We were smart this time with her shots and gave her Ty.len.ol as soon as we got home instead of waiting until the fever (and the screaming) started, like last time.  She wasn’t fazed at all and was her normal happy self all evening.

And, now we’re back to “normal”.  No trips planned, no visitors, no running around like crazy.  Work has been hectic lately, so sometimes it’s a struggle to get out the door at 5:00 or shortly thereafter, but I’m slowly coming to accept that I only have an hour or so with her in the evening during the week and try to make the most of it.

Cloth diapering is going really well.  Not nearly as gross as I had imagined it to be, and I’ve gotten into a rhythm of washing them every other night and doing other laundry on the nights in between.  There was a little bit of trial and error when it came to figuring out how many inserts to use to make sure she didn’t wet through, but we were able to make it work.  I was mostly concerned about what would happen overnight, since she’s in the same diaper for 12 hours, but those diapers are so amazing that it wasn’t an issue.  She’s (thankfully) still sleeping like a champ.  There have even been a few nights where she woke up every hours and soothed herself back to sleep and we didn’t even  have to go in once to put her pacifier in!

So, that’s what has been going on in our lives lately.  Hopefully I’ll be able to blog a little more consistently over the next few weeks instead of doing such a massive catch-up post!

 

2009 in pictures December 30, 2009

Filed under: baby!,family — airingdirtylaundry @ 10:12 pm

JANUARY

(This is back when we took a million pictures of Forrest.  How times have changed.  Mike’s playoff beard was in full swing.)

FEBRUARY

(Steelers win their 6th Super Bowl.  With a little help from Mike’s “lucky” playoff beard.)

MARCH

(St. Patrick’s Day . . .never thought I’d experience a St. Patrick’s Day at a bar at a Mexican restaurant.  Drinking Pepsi.  And being the designated driver.)

APRIL

(Half way there.)

MAY

(Babymoon in Vegas.)

JUNE

(JLo’s bachelorette party.  And her bridal shower.  And 2 baby showers for me.  Wow, was that a crazy month!)

JULY

(Mike’s birthday.)

AUGUST

(JLo’s wedding . . .what a great day!)

SEPTEMBER

(No explanation necessary.)

OCTOBER

(I fell more in love every day.)

NOVEMBER

(Our 10th wedding anniversary.)

DECEMBER

(Best. Christmas. Ever.)

Happy New Year!