Airing Dirty Laundry

for all the world wide web to see

Let’s dust off this here blog July 8, 2010

Filed under: Uncategorized — airingdirtylaundry @ 9:28 pm

Where have I been, you ask?

All over the place, except for right here on my blog. This is my ninth post of the year so far. Shameful, isn’t it? With all of the running around, working, cleaning, laundry, etc. that goes on in life, I’ve found that I’m having trouble carving out the little bit of time it takes to write about said life. Too busy living it, I guess.

So I’m not going to promise to do better, because I doubt that I will. In the midst of working 50-55 hours a week, taking care of Maggie and the house (and Mike), running around on the weekends, etc, time is so limited, and blogging will always take a back seat. Which is a shame, since I wanted to use this blog (in part) to record all of the precious moments of Maggie’s life, all of the big milestones, plus all of the little things. Well, folks, it’s obviously not happening!

Speaking of Maggie, she’s 10 months old today. Amazing. It’s getting harder and harder to leave her in the morning. It used to be that she’d get up early, eat, and then fall asleep on the couch with Mike for awhile. Now she’s playing and crawling around when I leave for work in the morning, and I just want to scoop her up and take her with me.

Everyone we’re around comments on what a happy, pleasant baby she is. Something I totally take for granted. You mean all babies don’t always wake up happy?  Even when they’re startled awake? That they don’t melt down when they spend the afternoon of the Fourth of July without a nap? They don’t all love splashing in the pool?

She makes me laugh every day. When I try to get her to say “mama”, she gently whispers it. And then yells “dada” at the top of her lungs. When she gives her Ernie doll her pacifier. When she dances whenever she hears music –any music—a toy, a commercial, the radio. When I put a bunch of toys in a bucket and she gets mad and dumps them all out.

I need those laughs. I look forward to those laughs. I’m still struggling with the post-partum depression (or maybe just regular ol’ run-of-the-mill depression?) that crippled me earlier this year. I made the decision to take myself off of my meds, pull myself out of therapy, and do it my own way. Figure out how to get better on my own. About ten days after I stopped the anti-depressants, I felt better. More aware. More in control. Less fuzzy. Less numb. I knew I had made the right choice. So I just take each day as it comes, and do what I have to do to get by. I’m slowly learning how to get rid of the overwhelmedness (not a word, I know) that was weighing on me. I’m slowly learning to concentrate on the smaller tasks that make up the big picture instead of looking at the big picture and not having any idea of how to get where I need to be from where I am. And it’s working. Not 100%. Not foolproof. But hopefully the little baby steps that I’m taking will lead me in the right direction.

But enough about that.

We have a couple of busy months coming up . . .my brother’s wedding next weekend, a big work event that I’ve been planning for months, my father-in-law’s 60th birthday party, a trip to NJ to see Mike’s cousins, and Maggie’s first birthday bash. It will all go by quickly, I know.  Maybe I’ll get a chance to blog about it.  Maybe not.  We’ll see.

Here’s some pictures to tide you over until next time . . .

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5 Responses to “Let’s dust off this here blog”

  1. No need to say you are sorry about not blogging. That is the beauty about it, you do it when you can and we all keep smiling. Glad that you are working things out and enjoying time with Maggie, Mike and everything else. Love the photos, as always Maggie is gorgeous. It is so hard to believe that she is going to be one so soon. They really do grow up too quickly. Enjoy the time and just make sure to take lots of photos for yourself, that is what matters. Hugs coming your way.

  2. Therese Says:

    Glad you posted, but sorry you are so busy! Maggie is so beautiful! I wished we lived closer!

  3. Holli Lund Says:

    Oh my gosh she has grown so much! What a beautiful little girl…. such a sweet face…. you are truly lucky Shawna (but I know you know that!) :) Don’t worry about not blogging… you do so much… living your life and experiencing it is the way it’s meant to be…… I’m glad you’ve been having fun!

    I’m also glad you’re finding your own way through the depression days and it definitely sounds like you are figuring it all out. That’s great!

  4. Jamie Says:

    Hey, don’t feel bad. I kinda ran away from blogging too. I do it only when I need to. You do what you gotta do. ;o)

    Maggie is adorable as can be. I love her little bikini!

    Shawna, you are awesome for handling everything. I know what it feels like to have enough of the outside interventions and need to do it on your own. I am proud of you for making that much progress in so little time… because that is exactly what it is.

  5. Joan Says:

    I would love to see more of your blog… I hope you start up again


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